Hello Everyone! For this blog I thought Id share some of my experiences that I’ve had in college so far. There is always so much debate when it comes to whether or not people should or could attend college when they are adults with more responsibilities. Personally, I was terrified to go to college; I struggled with math and testing throughout all of my schooling. The very thought of going to college and having everyone be at an extremely higher level than I was, intimidated me. To be honest, I’m still terrified to raise my hand and ask the questions after a lecture. There have been so many times where I feel like me asking a question that the Professor just answered, will frustrate the other students because they are ready to move onto the next lecture, and I am still confused on what we are supposed to do. The thought of failing and making all the time I’ve sacrificed away from my family scares me as well. Lets be honest college is expensive, so to have these loans and to top it the time I have put into the classes already means that failing is not an option for me. There was a memory that popped into my head, that could give more of an in depth look as to where my educational challenges began as well as how I learned to overcome them.

The most important thing while you’re in school is the teachers/professors. They can help shape you into what you want to be, which also caused fear with me going to college. All I ever heard was that the professors don’t care, and will not take the time to help you. However I must say, the professors here at Snow are amazing people. I have had maybe two professors that did not care to help, or would take any time to give that extra time. Which with it being College, is understandable. This is a time where things move more fast paced, however the other professors I’ve had have gone above and beyond. If ever I fell behind or they noticed some tests were letting them know I wasn’t fully understanding, they would all reach out to me and offer any extra help they could. They have made my college experience less strenuous. With my family, work, and school life its nice to have teachers that understand and care. So although college is still hard, its nice to know that the professors care enough to help me achieve my dream, and my goals. This is what leads me to my story about the very first teacher I had who helped me understand my learning struggles, as well as encouraged me every step of the way.

I remember going into the third grade and dreading it so much because I knew this meant that the math was going to be much harder for me. I immediately pictured myself raising my hand in class and having to ask the teacher to repeat something that she just said and having the teacher have a confused look on her face, and have some of the students laugh at me. Waiting for the “Pop quiz”time being told the first 5 that finished first would get prizes. I remembered all the times that I would end up guessing so the class wouldn’t have to wait for me to finish to hear who won the bigger prize. I had studied all summer, my mom had a rule that I couldn’t go out with friends until I completed some math problems and did some flash cards for the day. I was determined to be the best in my class for my third grade year. I was determined to have a star next to my name on my math quizzes. 

Immediately upon entering the classroom I remember the first thing that I saw were the multiplication problems all around the border of the room, The division game area. I remember seeing the numbers and having those images overpower all the other fun stuff that was in the classroom. I remember the teacher Mrs.Cardon, who I will remember for the rest of my life told us to all take our seats and write down our names so we could go around the class and tell everyone about ourselves. This made me so happy because we could draw pictures on this paper to make our names look cool. I drew lilies all over my paper and drew in the best cursive I could for my name. I wanted the teacher to see it and think I was so talented at coloring and calligraphy.

 The first half of class was so much fun and had put my mind at ease if not for a moment that maybe third grade wouldn’t be as dreadful as I thought it would be. I remember Mrs.Cardon In her red long dress and her pretty pearl necklace, and pretty red hair going up to the classroom, she smiled at everyone and said “I’m so lucky I get to have all of you in my class this year. Let’s make this the funnest year ever?!” She got out some papers and started handing them out to all of us. I remember her saying that she wanted to see what times tables we already knew and which ones we would try and work on more for the classroom, she said as soon as we were all done that we could all be excused for recess. I sat there and felt my happiness all melt off of me, and instantly the overwhelming feeling of looking at those numbers and frustration for not being able to calculate it all in my head like my friends came over me.

I saw all of my friends get done so quickly, rushing up to the teacher to hand it in and flying out the door to get to the playground. I tried not to look up and stay focused on that piece of paper.I had gotten the more simple times tables done, then came the 6’s, the 7’s, etc. I tried to remember what I  learned over the summer but all I could hear were all of the kids running outside that portable classroom. Pretty soon everyone was gone except me. I must’ve looked more frustrated than I thought I did, because I guessed on the last few and ran up and turned it into Mrs. Cardon, as I turned to rush out she stopped me and said “Is everything okay sweetie?” I don’t know if it was the stress or the pure kindness in her voice but I started to cry, (being an already pretty emotional child didn’t help either). I’d cry if my mom would say she was “disappointed in me” my mother wouldn’t even have to ground me. The disappointment I thought I could’ve possibly given my mother would just make me feel awful, which my mom knew; I think she thought I punished myself enough.

Mrs. Cardon and the special ed advisor explained to my mother and me about my learning disability. As well as the class that they offered to give me extra help and ensure that I understood all of the math material I was given in class. I remember getting into the car with my mom and feeling like maybe she was disappointed because I wasn’t honor roll like her and my father was. However when I looked at my mom she started crying, she said that she was sorry if she ever made me feel like I wasn’t trying  hard enough, or if I was slacking off.  I know my mother was never trying to make me feel dumb, she would stay up with me for hours trying to help me understand the math more. Frustration would come out after hours and hours of trying to find different ways to explain a thousand different ways to solve one problem. My mom just didn’t know how to help me. I told my mom she was the best mom anyone could ever ask for, she then told me that I was an amazing daughter(sounds corny, I know) but it’s something that I’ll always remember.

Mrs. Cardon was so nice to me, she would work with me more one on one, which I knew was hard with how many kids were in the class. I would still be learning what the class is learning. I would also would leave class, go to another room and work  one on one with a teacher who can explain the assignments more to me, take the time to explain why.

Mrs. Cardon as well as the special ed teacher would then send home ways my mother could help me at home. I  had my friends ask me why I went to another room when math came around and I remember that friend saying it wasn’t fair. She said that she wanted to be able to get extra help too! This embarrassed me a little, which I’m fairly certain people could read all over my face. I’m not sure looking back now why I was so embarrassed, but my teacher must have seen my face. Mrs. Cardon stopped me after school and said to me something that I would carry with me for the rest of my life. “Joanna,I know that your mom probably already told you this. But I want you to hear it from me as well,  just because you don’t learn the same way that everyone else does, doesn’t mean that you aren’t good enough or that you aren’t as smart as them. You are just as capable and just as smart as anyone! you just learn things different, and that makes you special.” She then gave me a big hug and told me I could do anything, which of course you always hear from your parents growing up. However hearing this from a teacher for the first time in my life, made me really feel like I could do anything. 

I’m a mother now, and I have two little girls. My husband was the same as my parents, honor roll, quick learner, etc. One of my little girls learns quickly like her father. My oldest struggles with numbers like I did, and I find myself being like my mother and telling her of course she can do anything she wants to in the world. Mrs. Cardon to this day still pops into my head “You just learn different, and that makes you special”. I also say this to my daughter now, and she doesn’t feel like she is any less for having a different way of learning.

To conclude this extremely long blog. College has been the best decision I have made as far as ensuring that I will have a job that I’m happy with. While at the same time being capable of making a decent living. I am by no means saying that its easy, or that there aren’t days in which I feel like crawling in bed to hide from the homework. However getting to be a part of the Snow College Community and having professors that care and help encourage me to keep going like my family does, helps me push myself to try harder, and not give up. My daughters will get to be proud of their mom, and know that they can do anything they want to. Thank you all for stopping by, and reading through this. If you are a parent, or adult, or even if you have a fear of school. I encourage you to go, college is worth it you just need to make sure you pick a good college, one where you’ve heard positive feedback about the professors. This will help in helping you accomplish the goal of earning your degree, and landing your dream job. If I can do this, I know that you can too.